all 119 comments

[–]cackyy 22 points23 points ago

Go fuck yourself.

[–]SFtheWolf 0 points1 point ago

Since we're still in the first round I'll allow you to rephrase that in the form of a question.

[–]cackyy 0 points1 point ago


[–]SFtheWolf 1 point2 points ago

It was a joke.

About Jeopardy.

[–]cackyy -1 points0 points ago

Lol, sorry. Completely went over my head.

[–]SFtheWolf 0 points1 point ago

Nice ninja edit haha.

[–]cackyy -1 points0 points ago


Didn't wanna leave that ignorance up there.

[–]limbermind 16 points17 points ago

Your thefts are passed down to the rest of us via increased costs and lost taxes.

Do you think this is fair?

You will eventually be caught.

Have you thought about what prison will be like or how you'll cope?

Why have you chosen this lifestyle over a more traditional type by where you become a contributing member of society?

Honest questions.

[–]Rukinom 3 points4 points ago

What was your first time shoplifting? And how did you become an avid one after that?

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -5 points-4 points ago

it's something that was definitely taught to me, I never lived in a great area, but I would constantly steal food and drinks ( my dad left my mom at 16, she had me at 15, and she developed a drug problem ) so I fended for my self, I could never afford a ps2, I didn't even have a bed, and so, I got my self both.

[–]boxmanboxman 3 points4 points ago

OP I'm having a difficult time believing this is true.

What is your strategy if you believe you are about to get caught in a store. I know legally shops can't do shit to you, even if you are stuffing things in your pants, until you exit the store.

And also, you were hard set on making this a living why don't you go into the fraudster business. A few places on the deep web could teach you how to steal identities and make fake credit cards.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -1 points0 points ago

I wouldn't steal from your average blue color working man, do you know why walmart ships 80% if their items from china? so they don't have to pay taxes for the items here. and they can charge you more, and pay less from their pocket, the governments pocket.

my strategy when I am about to get caught? either drop the item, or say I forgot I had it on me, or so on and so forth, as long as you have the money for the item in your pocket, you can "always forget" and pay for it now that you remember, shop at a different place for a couple weeks, come back, and do it again.

[–]boxmanboxman 1 point2 points ago

What makes stealing superior to other illegal activities that make money? Morally and financially I suppose why not turn to drug deal or identity theft.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -3 points-2 points ago

If I'm stealing from large stores, I'm definitely not going to hurt somebody who makes a billion dollars a day, or more, so I'm not going to steal from somebody whose making 30,000 a year or less, drug dealing? I've done a fair share of that in younger years, but that does ruin peoples lives, stealing from a multi millionaire does not.

[–]boxmanboxman 1 point2 points ago

You should be aware than that if you commit fraud. Sure you put someone in a terrible pinch. But eventually the bank and the credit agencies compensate him for the damages down.

So technically in the end you are ultimately hurting those billion dollar corporations you don't like. Thoughts?

I am not condoning fraud by the way. I'm just curious.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -2 points-1 points ago

and I put the money I steal, into these banks, which are taxed, which is then used to bail these billion dollar companies out. sometimes, just because THEY them selves got caught stealing, I don't steal from banks, but I've had to pay taxes to bail major banks out under bush, because of large companies stealing, and not paying taxes

[–]TexanChiver 7 points8 points ago

Best and worst places to steal?

[–]mjcov 0 points1 point ago

+1 I want to know what is the most difficult target and why. LP officers? Lots of cameras? Physical barriers?

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -4 points-3 points ago

mostly large companies like target, who're large, but not quite as big as Walmart. Kmart is the best.

a small town Walmart, or a costco is the worse

[–]infamousnoob 2 points3 points ago

Once you have the items, how do you get cash from them?

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -4 points-3 points ago

Either return them saying I lost the recipe, and go get another one and prove it's from the store, I've sold stuff in pawnshops, fleamarkets, and even Craigslist, taken games literally right across the parking lot to gamestop

[–]kubiq 2 points3 points ago

Do you have a job? Or you do this for living?

[–]LitAFartOnce 2 points3 points ago

Is your $8000 a month estimate the retail value?

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -2 points-1 points ago

i make 6-8k depending on what the pawnshops are buying, and what other peophave at flea markets

[–]TheReverendBill -1 points0 points ago

I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit. You'd do good to average 60% of the retail value, which means you'd have to steal around $15k worth of merchandise a month. Based on your comments of what, where, and how you shoplift, I don't believe that's possible.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -2 points-1 points ago

Wrong, if I steal a 400$ camera, I can sell it for 400$ in a flea market, if it's still in packaging, or even 450$ 480$ etc.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -2 points-1 points ago

if I steal 3 display cameras, that are 400$, that's 1200, and walmart is good for that. especially because the people in the camera booth do not pay attention, not to mention the androids they have are going for 520 right now, and leave them in a box, in the electronic section, which are incredibly easy to steal.

[–]TheReverendBill -1 points0 points ago

Now I know you're full of shit. Nice troll job.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -2 points-1 points ago


[–]bigbeantheory 2 points3 points ago

do you steal things and sell them or do you steal things that you personally use? How did you progress from being a shoplifter to a pro shoplifter? Would you say that you have become a kleptomaniac?

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -3 points-2 points ago

I both sell and use, I just progressed from small things, to bigger things as I got older, once you see how much you can sell a new camera for at a pawnshop , you start going for that stuff

[–]TheReverendBill 15 points16 points ago

Will you please go somewhere and die?

[–]Menophobia 5 points6 points ago


Also, how do you feel about being a drain on society? (You said ask me anything, and personally, I think you're a scumbag. Although, I'm curious if you realize it yourself, or do you have a skewed perspective that what you're doing is somehow okay?)

[–]stfucupcake 1 point2 points ago

Though you may be skilled, no one is infallible. Don't you worry about getting caught? Have you ever been caught?

Once I slipped & fell on an elevator at Target. The most surprising thing was how many plain clothes shopper cops they had that instantly showed up to help me. I would have never picked them out of the crowd.

[–]mglidden 1 point2 points ago

so what do you do after you've stolen an item?

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -4 points-3 points ago

pawn, fleamarket, gamestop, Craigslist, yardsales

[–]TheNotUptightMe 1 point2 points ago

What's your highest level of education? How old are you?

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -1 points0 points ago

3 years of college, and 22

[–]raysta 2 points3 points ago

What strategies do you use? How do you never get caught?

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -5 points-4 points ago

take note of the cameras, 6-7 times before stealing from a store or area, DON'T WEAR jackets and sweat pants, wear a tshirt and shorts, the most money comes from smqll things, things can be taken out of their packaging in bathrooms, and changing rooms, wrap the item in clothes, and pretend to go in and " change"

[–]Frog_Of_Thunder 1 point2 points ago

i am seriously awestruck with the double standard that you've set up for yourself. you justify what you do by saying that it's ok because people have been doing it for ages, and that somehow makes it fine. in another time, you wouldn't risk jail and scorn, you would be risking having your fucking hand cut off. pure insanity. have you ever had someone steal from you, and how did/would you feel about that? now take that feeling and apply it to the thousands of people you've done it to. think of how many people, if they knew what you are, wouldnt hesitate to kill you at in the blink of an eye. I could tell you that had you stolen from my shop and i saw it, id chase you down and beat you within an inch of your life before i called the cops. I could understand if you were maybe stealing food to feed your starving family, or medication that you somehow couldn't work for to make sure that a sibling lives or something like that, but you're doing this, ultimately, to be a giant douche. because you refuse to contribute to society and make something of yourself you have to take what others work for, and fool yourself into thinking that this is an acceptable thing to do. for fuck sake, get your shit together Tyrone.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -4 points-3 points ago

I have had people stolen from me, and you know what? I shrugged it off, went out to the store, and got a new item, or the same item, and of course I don't risk being caught, that's half the job.

[–]Frog_Of_Thunder 0 points1 point ago

the fact that you "shrugged it off" just goes to show that you have no sense of value, which is actually pretty easy to believe given your lifestyle choices. try working real hard for something that you want, and then have some fucking pud take it from you, then see how you feel, and no thieving is not "work" no matter how you want to justify it. however, you DO risk getting caught every single time you make an attempt, you know those mom and pop shops you said you steal from, how many of those folks do you suppose have a gun under their counter, or in their waistband? how many cameras are around that you dont see, they make em pretty fuckin small these days? maybe you have been on camera doing your thing many, many times now and your local police force is just waiting for you to get to a certain amount before they kick down your door and lock your ass up as you so richly deserve. do you even understand what your actions do to people, or what your actions would make them do to you? as much as well hate corporations, they aren't faceless entities, there are consequences for all actions. like someone else mentioned on here, when you steal things you drive the price up for everybody else. sure the items may be insured, but that insurance isnt fucking free, and the corporation/store/private party your taking from has to pay more for it with each claim thereby making them have to make more profit to cover the loss of your dicketry. this isn't some white collar crime man, you aren't embezzling from a company, they aren't sending you to "resort prison" you will go to federal "pound me in the ass" prison, and honestly you seem to really want that outcome. i have friends who have done more time for writing bad checks than for fucking killing someone, no joke. In most states anything over $5000 is grand larceny, and this can be accrued over time, so this whole $8000 a week thing, can really come back and bite you in the ass, if this is real after all. on that note, if you actually are the massive douche-nozzle that you claim to be, this post is an admission of guilt, when you get caught (not if, mind you, but when), they powers that be can and will track your accounts on your presumably stolen computer and find this. i cannot even comprehend your level of stupid or how you can think this is appropriate. seriously dude, either cut this shit out and become a real person, or just fucking off yourself and save the human race from the possible proliferation of your thieving genes. TL;DR- you are a fucking douche.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -1 points0 points ago

I have more than enough money for bail.

  1. they can't shoot me for stealing unless I rob at gun point, which I do NOT.

[–]SFtheWolf 0 points1 point ago

Have you considered the fact that the amount of thought and effort you put into stealing is easily enough to maintain a real job, one that benefits others and leaves a legacy and doesn't make everyone hate you?

A loaded question I know but I am curious.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -5 points-4 points ago

Most people generally don't care, everyone steals, its a fact of life.

And yes, I know the effort I put in is far more than enough to maintain a job, but hey, guess what? I make over minimum wage, I don't file for extra income, even though I could, I don't file for disability, or what ever the one for not having a jobs called these days

[–]SFtheWolf 0 points1 point ago

I am a narcissistic sociopath who has extreme opinions about the first world economy despite not even having a basic understanding of how it works. When people react poorly to this I try to rebrand myself as some kind of Robin Hood figure. I am also the living avatar of the Confirmation Bias. AMA

[–]amalied88 -1 points0 points ago

Why do you do it? Don't you see the immorality of doing it? You know somebody has to pay for what you steal? Usually somebody who has worked hard to get to where they are. It's not like you are stealing from filthy rich evil corp. More like a mom and pop store who had the opportunity to step up and own a larger store. You know that? And still do it?

[–]ThestolenToast 0 points1 point ago

Why are you telling the world that you commit a crime regularly when there are cops online?

[–]mjcov 0 points1 point ago

they don't know where he lives or who he is... and probably don't care. store owners would care.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -4 points-3 points ago

can't do anything unless they catch me in the act, or depending on where I stwal because of store policy

[–]cackyy -1 points0 points ago

This derp motherfucker, haha!

he got downvoted so much you can't even downvote anything in this thread.

[–]TheReverendBill -1 points0 points ago

The /r/AMA CSS is set up to disable downvoting. You can go to his comment history if you'd like to add some downvotes.

[–]cackyy -1 points0 points ago

Really? I swear ive downvoted in here before, learn something new everyday.

[–]dkinmn -1 points0 points ago

You'll be caught eventually. On the plus side, you can use your skills to be a security contractor for retail operations, which pays well.

You sound like a dick in this thread. Your justifications for stealing are weak. You really do make everything more expensive for the rest of us. That's wildly unfair.

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -3 points-2 points ago

Actually, I create more jobs, like you just said, they have to hire security personal, right? they get payed to do their job. and like I stated before, if I did get arrested, I could pay my bail price, instantly.

[–]Menophobia -1 points0 points ago

Although you may pay your bail instantly, the financial investigation department is going to look into where your income is coming from.

They are able to track items being sold and there is proof these items are stolen (wouldn't be all that hard after they receive a warrant for your access to your personal accounts). If what you claim is to be true that you are a "career" thief and you pull in $8,000 a month in sales, investigators may take what information they have to the FBI.

If that ends up being the case, you better sew your asshole shut. Federal laws can do something that state laws cannot, which is that they can account for crimes committed over a period of time, and added up to a total amount. (where as state crimes are based on incident by incident) Whoever receives, conceals, or retains the same with intent to convert it to his use or gain, knowing it to have been embezzled, stolen, purloined or converted - Shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ten years, or both; but if the value of such property in the aggregate, combining amounts from all the counts for which the defendant is convicted in a single case, does not exceed the sum of $1,000, he shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both.

TL;DR - What you are committing is a federal crime and therefore the charges can be aggregated. You could easily get 8-10 years in a Federal Pound me in the ass prison

[–]pancakesnboobies[S] -3 points-2 points ago

I " work off the books" . and have a teaching degree, I often take trips to china, which is where my girlfriend family is from, and " deposit it into an American bank" and work " odd jobs" on the side"